“If you want a rainbow, you have to put up with the rain” Dolly Parton

I suck at following through on keeping up with writing. Man, has a lot happened since my last post. I took a break from the blog for a while because, well, life. Recently, I’ve been running a lot and it makes me think and process things which leads to posts.

Two years ago seems a lifetime ago, but to be fair, with Covid I feel as though I lost two years of my life.

I got married. We had a beautiful wedding and just celebrated our first anniversary. I turned thirty, flirty, and fabulous (well, +1 now) I changed jobs. I bought designer heels. #idoinjimmycho

I picked up running again (obviously) and go ballroom dancing with my husband. I dealt with the dishwasher man coming to my house nine times until our warranty would replace the stupid thing. In case anyone was wondering, a window of 10-6 is obnoxious. I would lose my job if I told my boss, “sure I’ll work this sometime in six hours, maybe I’ll cancel at 5:30 and do it tomorrow. Might decide to go to Starbucks. I’ll text you.”

Tyler and I have been married for a year and a few days now. Marriage can be difficult at times, but, it’s the best thing in the world to have a supportive partner who you don’t have to hide parts of yourself from. How someone makes you feel is more important than what someone says. We make sure to go on dates together and actively listen and communicate to be better to each other everyday. It’s not always 50/50. Sometimes he gives 95% and I give 5% or vice versa and change the percentages. We’re not perfect, I’m not ignorant and believe after one year I have it “figured out”. I don’t. We still have to evolve and work hard to maintain a work life balance and a happy and faith based relationship. There’s never going to be a day that I will have it “figured out”. Life has ups and downs; different directions are thrown at you on daily bases in every aspect of your life: family, work, friend, health, possibly children (if that applies to you) or appliances.

Anxiety and gratitude can’t dwell in a person at the same time. My road hasn’t been easy. I may be bubbly but sometimes I’m down. Social media is presenting the best of peoples lives but not their problems and comparison is the thief of joy. I rarely check my Facebook or Insta. I’ve had my setbacks and things that taught me hard, difficult lessons. I wouldn’t change them. I needed them. Everything I went through I am because of that bad day, job, relationship (add whatever fits for you). Behind every strong person there’s a story that gave them no choice. There’s a reason though. My faith tells me that even when I don’t see it what happens is meant to be and there is a plan.

There are so many things I thought I would never get over or through but I did because my God had me go through that trial to find something better. That’s how I received the many things I’m so very grateful for. It’s due to the days and nights that I thought would never end. It’s important to remember that you’re more than likely living some of your answered prayers even when you’re praying for the next one. There’s a past version of you that’s so proud of where you’ve come.

What it took for me to be truly happy was saying I’m not going to suffer in my present because of my past. My past doesn’t define me. Not anymore.

Does that mean I don’t still have feelings, emotions, hurt, unresolved trauma? I’m human, I’m not perfect. I never will be. Never claimed to be. I’ll have bad days, weeks, and times. I’ll be ecstatic at times, or depressed. That’s being a person. But I try to remember when I am down, God knows you’re tired, he knows you’re maybe figuring out who you are, and that you’re trying. Put him first and trust him. He will make a way.

Find your circle, find your people. Find the ones you can hold onto. True friends are the people who won’t make your problems go away, they’re the ones who won’t disappear when you’re facing problems. I keep my circle small and close.

If you’re still reading this at this point, just remember wherever you are in life, you are the greatest project you are working on. Restart, refocus, as many times as you need to. Just don’t give up.

I never thought I would be more physically fit in my thirties than my twenties. I never thought I’d have such close ties with so many great people or people I could call and would drop anything to help, at the same time I would reciprocate. I never thought I’d be truly loved by someone and love them back. I also still have so much to learn about life it’s not even funny. It’s truly not fair that I am considered an adult when a lot of times I look for the adultier adult and find out it’s me. 😂

Life is nothing but choices, every choice has a butterfly effect to you and other people. In life you throw a rock in a pond and watch the ripples.

At the end of the day, dance in the kitchen either by yourself, with your cat (don’t judge), or with the one you love.

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: It goes on.”—Robert Frost.

Enough rambling for tonight, I’m going to go to bed and get up ridiculously early to go run a race because I’m psychotic.

Until next time, cheers🥂🍾

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