Tyler and I met in person on windy November day. We decided to get coffee at Hyperion Espresso. I told my dad I would be back in an hour as I was just going out on another date. We ended up spending the entire day exploring the city . I did keep my dad and a girlfriend informed and they had my location from my phone.
Before we met, I’d reached the point that I wasn’t even trying to find “the one” anymore. I didn’t think it existed, I had been hurt and destroyed to my core before and wasn’t really interested in having it done again. I downloaded Bumble just as a way to get out of the house without going to work. If I happened to meet someone great, but,I was happier having no expectations and assuming I was going to be drinking wine with my little black cat for the rest of my life.
We matched, he was cute, had a job and his profile wasn’t obnoxious, plus he had a cute dog. I later found out said dog was his brothers and he’d used Bandit because “girls like dogs”. It’s become a joke because he’s in marketing and I say he falsely advertised and he says “I knew what I was doing and I still got the girl”.
I was an open book, told him about my past, insecurities, hopes and dreams. I expected him to walk away. Even told the man he’d have to get an iPhone because I almost didn’t date him because of his green messages. He said to me “I’m still sitting here.”
The label came about after a month our first date and after he brought me a blooming Christmas cactus to my work. Who brings someone a plant that they have to take care of? Roses, normal people bring roses. I haven’t killed Audrey yet (going on five years) dad named her after “Little shop of Horrors”. My father has an interesting sense of humor. She’s sitting in the windowsill next to the soaking tub in my master bath. She starts to bloom beautiful pink flowers from two weeks before Thanksgiving to Mid January.
We had a mutual love of Christmas lights, joined a church in January 2020, spent the weekends going different wineries and botanical gardens. During the weeks, he would surprise me with cookies, roses, and on my birthday he brought to my work’s security office an overly embarrassing Frozen balloon bouquet that was taller than me. It had an Olaf Piñata attached to it with chocolate liquers in it. One of my best friend’s remembers me shoving them into my purse and yelling “I’m going to kill him” because I couldnt have liquer at work. It’s one of her favorite work memories. I know because we laughed about it last night when we met for dinner. She actually did fall on the floor laughing.
Shortly after my birthday, the pandemic happened. We ended up having a long distance relationship though we lived 30 minutes apart. He would call me every night and we’d have movie dates. I’m on the phone all day at work so I wasn’t super psyched to be on the phone for another 30 minutes but it became routine.
Fast forward to the new normal… we’re able to go out again. We enjoy the summer and went to the beach with his family. We went to North Carolina and saw my cousin Ivy (pseudonym) and her fiancé for Halloween. Ivy and I went wedding dress shopping for her and of course she looked perfect in everything. I visited with my grandfather whom I hadn’t seen in almost a year. The holidays are a whirlwind as always. Next thing we both know it’s 2021.
We both took major steps in our careers, we both tried to save money and were each building a nest egg. Still are years later.
November 7, 2021, I took my first vacation in almost two years. Tyler’s company had planned a convention in my favorite place Walt Disney World. His company cancelled it but we still went. Magic Kingdom was our first stop. Right before the fireworks he pulls out a hand carved box with the castle on it and fireworks and starts his speech. I’m in shock, I knew it was coming- but I did not think we would get engaged at Disney because “you won’t do it a Disney because it’s too obvious, you would expect me to expect you to do it there”. I interrupted his speech a few times saying “oh my God, are you proposing”. I said yes and I cried and we watched the fireworks afterward and spent the rest of our vacation celebrating. Ivy was in on the whole thing from the ring to the proposal planning and anxiously waited all day for me to call. I can’t believe it’s been almost three years since that amazing day.
Tyler and I decided to make another big step in our future and start looking at houses. Boy, between the stress of a promotion, wedding planning, and the housing market early 2022 was a trial. By April, we gave up on finding a house. We decide to go out and recreate once of our first covid dates at a tea room. Something in my heart told me to look at the zip code that our date was in. There was a house, and our realtor got us a showing prior to our reservation. We put an offer in and it was accepted!
We painstakingly moved in without taking any days off from work- maybe we love suffering? But it slowly came together and we created routines, and cleaning schedules, and adjusted to living together. I am constantly vacuuming and cleaning especially with four cats. Roomba is the best present my parents got me. Our house isn’t perfect, there are things we’d like to change, but it’s lovely, updated, and in a safe neighborhood. Most importantly, we’ve made it home.
Tyler and I started taking ballroom dance classes for our first dance and actually continued after our wedding as a date night. He sort of only did it to make me happy but he now enjoys learning the different dances and when we go out and there’s live music, we dance.
The first year of holidays in our house were interesting. We (naively) decided to host everything. It was fun, albeit chaotic and challenging. I’m terrified to see my living room at Christmas after we have kids given everything my in-laws brought.
We started hosting parties with our friends and entertaining. Upon reflection, it’s because I still love planning events and it’s my way of being creative while working an office job. Sitting on our porch by the fire pit has brought some of the best memories with some of our friends and family.
2023 was a whirlwind of work and wedding planning. Thank the lord for Cheyenne, our wedding planner, because I would’ve lost my mind. Luckily we were at the point where it was fun, design meetings, flowers, tastings, linens, name it. Writing the checks for everything was less fun. So was figuring out the guest list.
I can honestly say looking back on the process of looking for and buying the house, planning a wedding, while handling demanding stressful jobs. He and I are strong. To follow up on something I said earlier, he did get an iPhone 😂.
Tyler surprised me with Carrie Underwood tickets for Valentine’s Day and I sang my heart out to “Denim and Rhinestone’s “ and “Pink Champagne” at her DC tour stop. We got home at two am and both worked the next day (what’s a day off?). Little did I know that it wouldn’t be long before I saw her again, as two weeks later, my future father-in-law got us tickets to see her again in Charlottesville because he knew how much I loved her.
I turned 30 in March 2023. I celebrated the day of with my future husband, parents, and friends from our local “Cheers” bar. My friends and future husband took me out that following Saturday to indoor mini-golf with cocktails at Swingers DuPont and my girlfriends and I had one too many mimosas at brunch that Sunday. Which my lovely future husband drove us to and picked us up. I really don’t deserve him.
My bachelorette was at the beach and my girls and family made it the most amazing weekend on the gulf coast with my some of my favorite people. Doing multiple activities, sitting on the beach, and staying up late with champagne talking and playing Girls Night Out. I got a chance to drive a tiki boat and didn’t hit anything. don’t tell the operator’s boss.
I will admit the bachelorette weekend started with a hiccup- as I was running to catch my flight in Nashville. I received a call from my future husband that he couldn’t find my cat when there was nothing I could do as I was boarding a flight. Spent the whole flight stressing. She was definitely in the house when I left- I had said goodbye to all. She’s never been outside. He did find her hiding in some box he overlooked. Matron of Honor Ivy sent him a message saying “don’t text Linds with any issues, let me know, she needs to relax”. He was freaked out though and I forgave him for the stress he caused.
I never felt more surrounded by beautiful souls than at my bridal shower at a winery. My matron of honor made it truly special with her OCD planning and my family and in-laws really showed me how truly blessed I am with the women in my life. He had a fun time at his bachelor party, I think they went to a casino and dinner where he could have steak and shrimp- he doesn’t eat shrimp around me because I’m allergic.
Tyler and I had a perfect wedding. There were definitely some bumps. Nobody could figure out how to tie Tyler’s bow tie because it was super skinny rather than a traditional one. He borrowed my dad’s and my dad wore his extra, a bridesmaid got a nosebleed before walking down the aisle, but the goddess assistant got the blood out of the dress so she was able to sneak in during the ceremony and see us be married. My dress bustle came undone and I’m a big dancer so Cheyenne took a staple gun and literally stapled this expensive dress’ bustle together. I didn’t care. It didn’t matter. What mattered is that I married him.
The ceremony was perfect, it was us. Faith has always been a big part of our relationship and that was the center of our ceremony. We did a first look prior and we wrote our own vows. Our first dance was choreographed, I felt like a princess at a ball. I danced with my grandfather and he said “I hope you’re always as happy as you are right now”.
The speeches made me laugh and cry, the food was fantastic. Everyone raved about the Krispy Kreme flambé bar and the dance floor was full the entire time. My dad finally gave into me pushing him to dance with me which had been a battle. We danced to “The Girl you think I am”. The men loved the 1920’s styled cigar bar. We had some tasteful Disney accents. The entire venue and floral were “chef’s kiss” per my Aunt. For Ty’s touches he through a mini football instead of a garter (no way was that happening), TARDIS cuff links and I got a 1952 Rolls Royce Silver Cloud get away car which was my surprise to him. At the end of the night we left so happy with a private last dance and sparkler exit.
We went on our honeymoon in Mexico and enjoyed the beach, pool, food, and activities. There was a fun foam party where I was able to obtain a rare flamingo float. We went to the spa for a massage and I about died when Tyler said “what do I do for 80 minutes, bring a book?”. I may or may not have obtained a diamond ring pool float one night that a bachelorette party had left and the attendant basically said “here babe, congratulations”. It was lovely to sit and relax and just enjoy time together after what felt like nonstop movement for years. I still miss that hammock on the balcony overlooking the aqua blue water.
Tyler and I try to stay on top of the never ending work, house cleaning, staying healthy and fit, and so many cats. We’re getting an English Cream Golden Retriever- if Tyler puts in a fence. That’s was my requirement when I put down the deposit for the dog. Which means I’m going to be out there in the hot July sun building it with him.
We have date nights, we make time for us, we go to pumpkin patches, and see Christmas lights, pick strawberries, he likes arcades, or we’ll hang out by the lake on a pretty day. Sometime’s we’ll put a song on and dance in our kitchen.
His relaxation is cooking, I can’t tell you the last I actually cooked a meal. To be honest, he makes food better than most restaurants and my girlfriends hate/love that I have a “personal chef”. He makes me coffee and eggs every morning.
Laundry is constantly being done by me. I swear my husband can’t tell the difference between a dark and white even though I have a laundry sorter. But he has learned if he helps, my clothes, especially exercise clothing don’t go in the dryer.
After hosting all holidays in 2022, we had a quiet Christmas with just the two of us and it was a wonderful day. We’re creating our our traditions and finding what works and doesn’t.
This year has brought some challenges, I have a lot of anxiety and didn’t feel like myself. I’m usually pretty bubbly. I started to have vertigo, jaw pain, and tennitis which severely affected my mental health. After way too many specialists, I learned I have TMJ and found a dentist that is fixing it. It sucks by the way, don’t recommend, but I’m getting better. I couldn’t have gotten through it without Tyler. They say in sickness and in health and the man really stepped up seven months into marriage when all this started happening.
My in-laws gifted us a trip to Universal Studios Orlando for all the things my husband does to help them around the house when they are on the road in their RV. We spent most of our time in both Harry Potter worlds. It was a quick weekend trip but I think it was a break from ordinary life we needed.
We celebrated one year with competitive indoor min-golf (I won, in four inch heels and a tight dress), had a lovely dinner, and ended with a cocktail at a bar overlooking DC.
His 29th birthday is tomorrow and he still doesn’t know what he wants to do and we still need to book our Nashville trip for later this year.
My life isn’t perfect, we’re not perfect. This post is from my point of view, I guarantee you Tyler has some grievances about me. Mainly being I’m too hard on myself. The only constant is change. The twists and turns have brought me here today.
How someone makes you feel is more important than what they say. He makes me feel beautiful inside and out and that I am the only person that matters. He makes me want to be a better woman. Good relationships don’t just happen. They take time, patience, understanding, and two people who truly want to be together. We won’t always be happy, we’ll have trying times again. I know that we’ll both keep fighting for what we have. Marriage isn’t a Disney princess movie.
So I sit here in our house, Bellatrix is at my feet, Luna is behind my head, Oreo is in his basket. Not sure where Marvel is, she’ll turn up. I’m having a cup of coffee that my husband made with our espresso machine and we’ll watch the latest episode of a tv show we’ve been watching.
I’m so glad that that I found things I didn’t know I wanted and wasn’t looking for. As I look back at my life, I realize every time I thought I was being rejected by something good, I was actually being redirected to something better. Thank God for unanswered prayers.
Until next time, cheers🥂🍾
Coffee, Cats, & Champagne 