If you’ve read anything I’ve written, it’s obvious I’m Christian. I’m not the kind that is knocking on peoples doors to “save them”. You do you. Your belief system may be different from mine. That’s ok. I won’t sit here and argue with anyone about who’s right or wrong because it will accomplish nothing. I also fully respect and have researched other religions and find many aspects fascinating.
My father, husband, and I have a wonderful friend who we’ll call Paul. He works with soldiers who have PTSD and counsels them. Paul’s one of the most insightful and intelligent men I’ve ever met.
We unexpectedly ran into each other a few weekends ago and got lunch. I mentioned to him that I have been working to have a better mindset for myself. I know I’m my own worst enemy.
He advised me that I strive for too much and for perfection and I want everything right now because I am human. The job will come, the money will come, the health will come, but it won’t happen in my timeline. Good things take time.
We discussed that I’m in the position I am in to be able to give back and help other people. He brought up “Matthew 5:48: Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.” Many churches and Christians will interpret this and say as long as you believe in the lord and everything in your life will be all good, and you should act only as the Lord does, strive to be as great as God. He essentially stated sometimes along the lines of “God alone is perfect. We are imperfect beings that can strive for excellence, but we should leave perfection to God.”
Paul’s issue with most people’s interpretation of this verse is you can’t be as great as God. We are made of his image, but we are humans, we are sinners, we all take wrong turns. Instead of striving to be perfect, which will never happen. You should continue to try your best and do the best you can to your capability.
I’ve been ruminating on this one. I’ve always been a “perfectionist”. Perfection isn’t reality, and it’s a concept I need to let go of. When it does all go wrong outside my control or if I make a mistake, it’s ok because there is no light without darkness.
Tyler and I threw a party last Saturday for the Fourth. Paul and I continued our conversation from our prior encounter on my back deck and got super deep.
He had me realize what I’ve gone through and overcome is because I’m valuable. You don’t attack someone who is no threat to you. You attack the person who can deal you the most damage. When it feels like I’m being bombarded time after time, it’s the enemy testing me. The enemy knows I can do good and will do everything in their power to prevent me from doing so. I haven’t lost my faith. If anything, it’s stronger.
I’m currently helping several people navigate through crises in their lives. I will not get into those. They are not my story to tell unless I get permission. I’m counseling them and guiding them through very difficult situations because that’s what you do as a friend and a Christian. Naturally, I sought some of Paul’s advice.
One of the situations that someone is currently dealing with is similar to a situation I went through. I went through that season of my life to be able to help her. I can empathize and understand, but I can’t comprehend everything because our lives are not the same. We have different backgrounds, upbringings, feelings, and we’ve gone through similar things, but I have not experienced exactly what she has gone and is going through. All I can do is support and guide her and pray that God will give her strength and send her on the right path.
When I first met Paul in 2019, he told me he saw me as someone who would guide women towards the Lord and be a person to build up others and be there for them in the darkest of times.
I didn’t believe him then. I was completely changing my life 180 and felt I was a hot mess express. How could I help or guide anyone?
A lot can change in five years. A lot can change in five minutes.
This week my father-in-law finally got the call on Monday that he was getting a new organ. He’s been waiting for decades. He was told he was going into surgery on Tuesday at 1 pm.
When my husband found out he had called me, the difficult thing was I started my new job that day, Monday and I currently can’t take time off. Tyler knew this prior to calling me and said we would talk when he got home.
He called Paul next. Paul helped Tyler process the myriad of emotions he was feeling. Relief, fear, grief, happiness, gratitude, are just a few. Tyler was then able to go over after work and help his father through his emotions and process that he was having major surgery which could have major complications, but it’s a blessing.
I couldn’t take Tuesday off. I told my trainer the situation and that if I went off camera it’d be because I needed to take an emergency call. I was told that was not a problem.
The surgery was rushed earlier than expected due to some complications that arose. My husband and brother-in-law barely made it in time to see my Father-in-law. Tyler FaceTimed me, so I could say hi and I loved him before he went under.
I prayed that God would give me the strength to stay strong for my husband, that my husband would not have a breakdown and be able to get through this. That my mother-in-law would be ok while her husband of 40+ years was in surgery that at any moment could go wrong. I prayed for my brother and sister-in-law. I prayed that my father-in-law, that after so many years of fighting these health issues and fighting for our country, he would fight just a little more and that he would be able to feel that he could live life to the fullest. I prayed for the donor’s family.
I reached out to Ladybug. We have an anonymous Prayer Warriors text message group. She sent out a prayer request for me.
I told God that I had faith. I regret anytime I’ve ever doubted him or felt that he had forsaken me during my trials. I hope I won’t again, but I’m human. I told him that I’m only manifesting a good outcome. Fear and faith can’t coexist. That’s the point of faith.
The surgery was successful. My father-in-law has a lot of rehabilitation to go through. He also will have to deal with survivors’ guilt. We’re not out of the woods yet, his body could still reject the organ. We have faith. We are praying for the donor and his family. But that donor made the choice to save my father-in-law and many other’ lives when he couldn’t be saved.
Paul was in contact with Tyler the entire time as well.
I’m writing this post for one reason. The words and support you give to a person don’t go unnoticed.
“No one comes into your life by chance. People come into our lives when we need them to. Our paths crossed for a reason. A need was met. Some will stay longer than others, but all should be embraced. Just as others will be what you need, you will also be what others need. Open your eyes, arms, and heart. -Joseph Andres
Paul came into my life to teach me and stays there to support me while I help others. He has made a great impact on me and my husband. He has been there through many of the rough patches of my life. He was there for my husband this week. We are not the only people he gives his time and support to outside of his already emotionally draining career.
Being a Christian isn’t something you can just say you are and automatically everything has changed. It’s a choice every day to grow and be more like Christ. Saint Ignatius is quoted as saying “I wish not merely to be called Christian, but also to be Christian.” I love this quote. Christianity isn’t judgment, it’s not forcing your beliefs onto others and condemning them if they reject them. It’s not a label. You can’t go to church once a week and act like a fool the rest of the time. To me, Christianity is stepping one foot in front of the other. Realizing, I’m human and I have flaws. That I have made mistakes, but I have been saved. It’s to be a good person, serve others, and know that my Heavenly Father is a loving God, and he is almighty.
I will continue to be the person people can turn to in the best of times and worst of times. I will continue to seek out a soul that maybe just needs someone to listen because nobody’s ever let them speak. Maybe, just maybe, I can be a portion of the person Paul has been to me.
Until next time, cheers🥂🍾
Coffee, Cats, & Champagne 